Weigh-in #18 – Rough Waters

I’m not so happy, trying to lose weight on my own, I know is up to me, and I need to be strict about things. Now what I’m about to tell you, may seem like an ‘excuse’ but I am genuinely being honest about it. Growing up in poverty as a child, you appreciated the food you had to eat, as so many worse off than we were as children can tell you, I am right, anyone with common sense should, are they a lot of those? You be the judge.

Moving on, as I mentioned,growing up we appreciated our food. Now as an adult, in my current relationship. My fiancĂ© mother, makes us dinner sometimes once every two weeks, usually Lasagna with some kind of sausage, italian usually, and also sometimes pasta, VERY VERY delicious but also VERY VERY fattening. I don’t like food to go to waste, I don’t OVER indulge, but my portions have to be small, if I am to stay within my calories for the week. BUT, yeah I know a ‘but’, BUT she makes a lot, and it is only myself and my hunny William. As much as I adore his mother, and whole heartedly appreciate what she makes. I eat some, and because it is a lot, sometimes twice a week, even at lunch. But still trying not to go over my calories.

It is very hard to do that, because the portions are smaller than my meals, I will intentionally skip a mean, to indulge in some of her fine cuisine. I’m beginning to feel, that those times, are one of the reasons I gain. It is 100% my fault, and I should know better. Her family doesn’t know that I am on a diet, his sister might, as I post on Instagram and that goes to my twitter,and that goes to my personal facebook account. So maybe she sees it, and maybe she don’t give a shit LOL. So I don’t know.

If I ask my hunny to tell his mom, no more please, I feel I will be hurting her feelings, and his. So I don’t say much. I probably won’t either. I may just need to let food go to waste, and go bad, because William can eat so much, and he don’t like taking lunch, as it is his time out of the office. So it makes me feel that I am going against everything I believed in, about wasting food. Do you see where I am coming from now? *sigh* I don’t know what to do.

I am not very friendly with my neighbors, everyone seems to stay to themselves and personally I don’t like that. I think it is important to communicate with more than a hand wave or a smile. I wish they were friendlier, because then I would bring them some over. My sister is Las Vegas, wish she was close, because I would take it to them. *sigh* I gained 1.5 lbs, not a happy camper

So as mentioned, I am not trying to make an excuse, just giving some history here. Ok let’s go to the photo now.

Weigh-in #18

Yeah it is a bummer. We’ll see how things go, say a prayer!