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I Hate Being Hungry!

I think the worst part of a diet, is not the exercise, well I guess that is too hehe but it’s adjusting to not eating, what you normally were eating, or should I say the portion size. The first few weeks, you go hungry. I hate that! I can’t even be near the kitchen, because I get hungry haha. I try to drink water when I get hungry, it helps fill me up. I’m trying to stay under 1,660 (corrected) calories a day, some may think that is a lot, but I think for myself it’s ideal at this time, perhaps later it will change. But as mentioned, it’s just those moments when I feel the hunger pangs. I can’t wait until I get passed that phase.

What hungry feels like

As for exercise, it’s difficult for me, as my knees are bad. I injured one over 5 years ago, have not been able to have a doctor look at it. It’s bad enough I just got a bill, that was not fully covered, so now I have another bill to worry about, and has gotten me depressed. Anyway, so my knee worries me, especially when it snows or rains. I don’t want to slip and re-injure it. It has happened a few times. But now my other knee is bothering me now. I am 49, yup that is correct 49, I don’t look it right? With age, comes problems with our bones, especially knees, and with that and being overweight, just makes it more difficult to go out in the snow or rain and exercise, or walk that is. I really really do get scared I am going to slip, and wind up in the hospital, believe me, the last thing I want is another hospital bill.

Now as soon as Spring/Summer comes. I have NO excuse, so please yell at me if I say I am not walking during that time. Because honestly I don’t have an excuse, and that is the ideal time to take advantage of all that good weather. We have talked about moving out of where we are now. I am tired of the stairs, up and down, up and down. But honestly, it’s been a blessing, because I am forced to go up the stairs to use the bathroom. It’s to my benefit. So I believe that I shouldn’t worry about the stairs anymore, and see it as a blessing. As it keeps me active even if it’s just a little.

I took a break, and am back now after 7 pm to finish this post up. William got home. I told him about that bill, as I said he wasn’t happy, but said we would take care of it. It’s going to take a chunk out of what has been saved for us to move. So there is a possibility now, that we may not move. He said he’ll work overtime to make it up. I hate taking his Saturdays away for my stupid ass. I feel like crying

I am going to check my insurance to see if they indeed only cover 50%. I’m so upset!! Damn damn damn …

I think that’s it for now. Oh, I got some good news yesterday, is finally re-opening, can’t wait. I am hoping to get some help fixing a problem I have with my script. Thank goodness it overall works. It’s just the notification doesn’t work. So *fingers crossed* on that too! Oh yeah and I’m sure everyone heard that the New England Patriots lost the game Sunday, it was a very big disappointment, but with so many injured players, they just couldn’t pull it off. Well, maybe next year!! Well you know, win or lose, I’m still a Patriots fan!

xoxo Emily

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